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lyrics

Abi: We should totally have a theme song
Kevin: Why would we have a theme song?
A: all the detective teams on TV have theme songs and catchy names. We could be Abi & The Mouse
K: Woah! I dont think so. We should be Kevin & The Witch
A: thats not bad. Abi & The Mouse is cooler though...
K: i think Kevin & The Witch is way cooler...
A: But first we need a super fun theme song, something like...


If something dark, nefarious comes creeping round your house
Crimes you cant unwind then just call abi and the mouse
If the cops are lost and you are at your wits last end
We’ll solve it all just give a call when you’re all out of friends
When something sinister it slithers round your part of town
Murder foul dont howl just call us abi and the mouse


K: Oh thats nice but the lyrics need a little touch up
A: yeah, they could use a rewrite. What were you thinking?
K: Oh, something like this:

If murderers are on your nerves and make your eyeballs twitch
Dont you moan, pick up the phone call kevin and the witch
We’ll ace the toughest case without a snag or drag or hitch
Kevin is the sweet one and abi’s kind of a b... (dont you dare say it)
If someone wrong just offed your mom and you are in a glitch
We’re the friends at your wits end, kevin and the witch

A: i dont even know where to start with everything that was wrong with that
K: genius knows no boundaries
A: if i randomly pointed to words in a dictionary it would be more...
K: seriously though, i love this, but our theme song should be less saturday morning cartoon and more mysterious. Something like this: 1,2,3

...

Abi:
It’s true sometimes you need a sleuth, detectives on your side
Kevin:
Brilliant sly, astute and wise we always get our guy
Abi’s fun and sweet but her spells can kick your behind
Abi:
Kevin has a brilliant mind nothing escapes his eye
Abi & Kevin:
If the cops have given up, dont panic dont you twitch
The best detective team out there, the mouse and yes, the witch

A: that probably needs a few rewrites
K: wow, song lyrics are harder than i thought
A: maybe we should hire that poet at The Griffin’s Tail
K: He just write depressing stuff about the meaninglessness of existence
A: yeah but he can rhyme
K: sure if you needs thing that rhyme with abyss and pain
A: i need a catchphrase

credits

from Kevin & Abi And The Secret Of The Golden Pendant, released February 23, 2021

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Paul Shapera Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Cama’s attempt to commune with higher beings failed; she only found Decadent Dottie. Together they roamed, indulging in dangerous forms of psycho-neural self-exploration which Cama hoped would present the key to her people’s further evolution. It only led to her destroying her people so that one of their pets could evolve. She sat in her former civilization's rubble and listened to Paul Shapera. ... more

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