Miss Helen's Weird West Cabaret, The Ballad of Lost Hollow Act 1

by Paul Shapera

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jesslindsayfowler
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jesslindsayfowler The whole cast are amazing, and the music is beautiful. I love them all! And the story! It's so hard to pick a favorite character, let alone a favorite song! Favorite track: Finale.
Mladen
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Mladen Miss Helen's Weird West Cabaret is just one of those perks of being alive. It's fun, it's imaginative and it repeatedly makes me cry. Favorite track: The Sheriff.
Belladonna Robin
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Belladonna Robin A brilliant and funny cabaret with interesting characters who you'll be seeing more of if you listen to the next few albums. Han Mi is by far my favourite. I couldn't help share Henry The Alchemist with a friend and we both laughed over how amazing it was. Favorite track: Henry The Alchemist.
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1.
Opening 04:29
Helen: There a desert where a carnivale hungry roams round and prowls waits to feed but lets not speak of this now A frontier town past the desert rests here in the queer and quite weird west lets stroll its street as the sun creeps on down Soon we come to the saloon let us stop, shots they are calling our name pray we must stay, we've come on quite a day Miss Helen's one pace from disgraced cabaret Look round the towns all here and more werewolves recline upon the floor all is at last more like now than before Tonight things that circle wait and prey crouch far enough away, lets play with your heart see what it takes it to break The light dies upon our pale lives as it rises right now on the stage settle back in with your glass full of gin for Miss Helen's one pace from disgraced cabaret And now the cast who appears tonight in our torrid tales of intrigue and delight i am hannah and i shall guide you through accounts from our dear town which we'll regale to you every tale a hero must appear, and our sheriff, rugged true and brave is here this week once again he will face friends i fear The queen of crime, the sinister Han Mi, whose exotic webs of intrigue and deceit What dark oriental magic she brings to us from the east "Ah yes, the tired dragon lady trope again. Come see Han Mi, the lazy racist caricature from a small minded, bigoted, ignorant ass hat of a writer..." " haha... let's stick to the script this week.." "And of course my friends we cannot forget our Alchemist friend and secrets that he tends our curtain has risen come join us my friends Our town's like an address to an orgy for tired tropes and pulp stories gaze on the floor once more as they writhe and engage Your heart has such sublime ache an iconic role you'll make, stay one day you'll appear with us here on the stage And say, in this saloon those still sane unite here each week for a play Let’s all drink a shot Of whatever you’ve got for Miss Hannah’s not quite yet disgraced Cabaret
2.
Helen: Tales to be told come this week to unfold on our blind and brooding stage The good and the bad and the sane and the mad in their endless blood ballet The wild, deranged comes to rattle its cage we must keep it quiet and tamed A dance and a song let the mind start to calm with a touch of peril to grip and hold you on the edge as events unfold so Tears sometimes start when one bears you their heart alone upon the stage Sometimes the lie tells more truth than you might have seen in light of day Our villain Han-Mi needs a scheme for this week that could bring this town to fall Here she comes now to confide to us all of her newest plan of avarice thereof finally this week break the sheriff ... Whats the scheme this week that Han-Mi's plotting? There's a train at 1 pm and its this that she’ll be robbing The money for the orphanage is what the train has got and you know she's gonna take it all toda… Han-Mi: No, no, no. I'm not. That is stupid. Helen: Yes she is cause she knows it’s this week’s plot and… Han-Mi: This week’s plot is dumb so a no a she’s a not a Helen: It’s what the writer wrote Han-Mi: But the writer is a moron. I came up with a better plot myself Helen: Really? Han-Mi: Come on, just try it. I swear, it’s like a million times better Helen: (sighs). All right. So last week, our dear sheriff had been caught and he was tied up in Han-Mi's dark bedroom for a spot then Han-Mi: Oo, I wish… Right, so he escapes but his shirt is torn right off , so then... Helen: Why does he have to be running around without a shirt? Han-Mi: Really, Helen? Helen: Oh my god, you little horn dog! Han-Mi: Just trust me, its totally integral to the plot. Uh, guys? guys? Can we maybe switch to something softly menacing in F sharp minor? Thank you! .... If i made, a plan today something strange something sinister, a worthy game, i'd take the vaccines they made for the babies and id change them so that when the babies take them they, they would change, to zombie babes, and all who watched would gape and pray and and while they're poised on the edge of their seats so id watch him be the gorgeous hero If i made, a plan today something strange, the best plot of this cabaret then i would take those zombie babes, and with arcane techniques then i would make then fly and crave to eat your face, and on that day the sky would rain with hungry little zombie babes who'd scream and chase and eat your face and folks will swipe the air with bats and clubs to chase away the screeching flying bleeding face eating undead babes feeding on your heads as people strike them with their bats and crying why screaming little bodies swooping from the sky and everyone would scream and cry and while the chaos reins unleashed about so i’d watch him be the perfect hero Helen: Jesus Christ, Han, what the hell was that? Han-Mi: I know, it's awesome, right? Omg i'm so proud of it. I totally thought it up myself and it's like the best evil plan ever. That'll keep em glued to the seats... Helen: Okay okay… just... ladies and gentlemen, Han-Mi and her evil plot. All right folks, next up, the sheriff!
3.
The Sheriff 08:28
The Sheriff: And the sun comes up along the eastern desert where the wild men ride bring trouble in their wake And there ain't much sense when love and death come riding or the code you find to face yourself each day Well we always known mama had seen trouble in the days before my sisters and i came And she gave us each our first gun at seven for when the wild side comes for us one day And the sun comes up along the eastern desert where the Barnsdale gang is coming soon they say And mama said its that gun that will see you to the morning and your code is how you face yourself each day ... I's a teenage boy on a summer night at a party neath the warm moonlight when Becky Smith crushed my heart in her hand I felt the tears well in my eyes if other kids would see me cry the mocking would be more than i could stand so off into forest there i ran There's rumors bout a werewolf tribe outside the town and on this night i found one laying there beneath the moon Wounded bleeding from her side half girl half wolf and to my eyes such beauty to that point id never known two days i stayed and tended to her wounds I never saw a mountain i never saw a sky i never saw a site that looked quite like you are tonight Its you that are the reason the stars fall from the sky into my heart and light my soul the way you tonight I never saw an angel, a sunrise or a light that held a candle to you oh to you here n this night If i live to be a thousand or had seen the birth of time it'll never take my breath away the way you do tonight Them summer nights then she would come outside my house and out id run boy and she wolf running paw and hand Together in the moonlit woods the summer smells, her eyes of gold together in our magic midnight land and one night there she made of me a man ... As we lay there naked, smiling, curled her furry ears perked up she heard some sounds of trouble somewhere far away She said that its the Barnsdale gang they're at your place and so we raced in desperation but we took too long My sisters and my mama they were gone She caught their scent we tracked them down to a ranch outside of town she told me she was sure they were alive But 15 men were there and i had just one gun strapped to my side She softly growled and told me not to mind she said my love i will get you inside ... I would have wept upon her fallen body my heart still aches for her to this day but in that house, upstairs in that bedroom Barnsdale had my mama shut away So i burst in, my gun all locked and loaded that man he had me mama n his bed he stared at me with a look i still remember before i filled him full of lead ... My mama she looked at me and lit a cigarette glanced at the dead body and took a nice long drag "Well boy" she said real slowly then sighed and shook her head "you just killed your daddy, me and him we go way back."
4.
Han-Mi: When your dreams drifted long out to sea and the shoreline is black as can be you could turn to the girl next to you drowning too come ashore then once more she'd find comfort in you Over and over in you tangled together you’d want me too On a rowboat lost far out to sea filled with costumes and songs that we sing in the play you think true is the girl drowning too as you drift she could hold, and comfort you too over and over with you tangled together you’d love me too …. Helen: So Han-Mi has put her plan in motion… You did just fill them in on the sequence of plot events? Cause it sounded like you were… Han-Mi: Oh yeah, totally. Yeah, i told them all about the plot details Helen: Okay, you have introduce my number Han-Mi: Yeah, i'm on it Folks this week we have got a song that special a song that is about our very own Miss Helen Put your hands together ladies and a gentlemen Miss Helen herself, folks
5.
Miss Helen 05:57
Helen: Out in the desert on the outskirts of town every few years a carnival comes round They say that it beckons til one soul comes then it takes them and leaves and they're not seen again The weeks when our mom wouldn't get out of bed me and Shira would eat chocolate, berries and bread The house would be ours and wed play make believe pretend father came back from some kingdom far east The weeks when our mom wouldn't really quite sleep they were fun and yet scary, me and Shira agreed We would build a gazebo or repaint the place but it sat there half finished after a few days And mom would just cackle then grab us and squeeze i try and i try so much more than you see I wish i was better i wish i could be all you need but there's just one place for me Girls we should where we really belong to the carnival, song us a carnival song I hear it come calling, the sweet music plays I'll run to the carnival music one day By the time we were teens mom had long gone away and every few years the circus music would play I did well at school, got good grades and good friends i learned laughter could be not so scary and tense But Shira she stayed in the shadows and then never really fit in never made lots of friend At night we would still sit together in bed and she fought feeling manic and morose in her head And one night she cried and she held and squeezed said Helen i try so more than you see I wish i was different, i wish i could be all you need but there's one place for me I know i should go where i really belong to the carnival, song me a carnival song I hear it come calling, the sweet music plays I'll run to the carnival music one day ..... i sit out some nights talk to Shira as if she could still hear me, as if she had not left I tend my affairs and look after my life and sit out and eye the dark desert some nights I don't know the day or the reason just yet whether heartbreak or boredom or some minor fret One day the carnival music will play and i'll go and be with mum and Shira again
6.
Interlude 01:59
Helen: Oh look, here comes the sheriff! He and his deputy Henry The Alchemist are coming to investigate reports of trouble Sheriff: Greetings Miss Helen. It looks like there's been some trouble with the stagecoach and Henry and i... Helen: You mean the doctors place Sheriff: No, the stagecoach. it looks like Han Mi is... Helen: No, we're not doing the train robbery Sheriff: Oh, we're not? Helen: No we're doing... uhm... zombie babies Sheriff: What? Helen: Flying face eating zombie babies Sheriff: That's horrible! Helen: It's pretty awesome actually. Don't tell Han i said that, she'll never follow script again Sheriff: Well then, we ride off to... Helen: The doctors place Sheriff: Yes, to... Helen: Investigate reports of the vaccine having strange side effects Sheriff: Does the band know this? Helen: I told them during your bit Sheriff: Well then, come Henry. Hi ho Yates! Helen: Hank! Sheriff: Yes? Helen: Just between you and me, have you ever considering Han-Mi as... a woman? Sheriff: Han-Mi is the embodiment of evil and malicious cunning Helen: No, past the whole villainous thing. Just.. as a woman, do you think.. Sheriff: How can i possibly see her as anything other than a detestable scourge, a blight that should be removed from this town? Helen: Wow. Okay, that's uh... harsh Sheriff: Hi ho Yates! Away! Helen: I'm sorry, Han Han: You know, we really don't have to talk about it Helen: It's your song. I am such a... what the hell is with the band? Han: I don't think they're paying attention to us Helen: Guys! Guys! What the hell are you doing? Okay, take your time... Yes. Wow. Okay folks, we go now to Han-Mi's lair where she sits brooding.
7.
Han Mi 05:05
Han-Mi: The queen of crime is brooding in her lair puffing kiseru and plotting her dark ways They think she wants to scowl and watch the world burn down but she just wants to watch him save the day I like the role of queen of vice and crimelord the villain's always the most fun to play I wish i was like them and with my role content and never pursued past this parlous way The dragon lady's live on stage today Han-Mi see, she runs a den of gambling Sells opium and knows kung fu, wears jade she speaks in proverbs then commands lurking chinamen in broken english so the scripts all say I thought that if i just talk with the writer the racist implications i'd explain Just to help you know make a better show a more engaging, mindful cabaret The dragon lady's live on stage today After curtain call id speak to someone but when my time as Han-Mi ends and fades i blank out just dissolve i'm not aware at all until the next time i am on the stage I can't recall what happens after curtain between shows i cannot account for days Who am i post play after you stop the cabaret? When did my mind splinter in this way How do i make it stop just make it halt i think my minds not well is this all my fault If i stop it all will i just fade away? Will i just wake up to another cabaret? How do i make it end can anybody help? Can't you hear my cries cant you see that im not well? None of you respond do you even know? You think that this is just another part of this damn show Just sit there and stare watch me scream and squack As this never ends As this never stop You just sit and stare at me alone and scared Why does it not stop Why am i still here? There's only Han-Mi when the curtain rises the actress who is lost within the play The performance comes and goes no one ever stops the show Is the other me aware i'm here on stage? If you see me walking on a wednesday please don't let me get back on this stage Find out who i am Do i understand the other me is lost within the play? If you can stop the show today's the day Does anybody hear a thing i say? The girl who's caught within the cabaret The dragon lady's live on stage today
8.
Interlude 2 02:10
Helen: I know a few things about sanity's brink when you can't trust all you think Han-Mi: I know there's a place, a place i belong, in the carnival sing me a carnival song Helen: You cant sing that song, there are things it can call, all who sing it soon are gone I’ve been there to see when they finally cant keep ahold, control of all about you I'll stop the show, i'm worried for you Han-Mi: If you stop the show i might blank out and go and wake when next it starts Helen: I’ll be by your side the whole time if you slide or cry or come apart Han-Mi: Who am i when this all just stops, and desists? Do i even still exist? Helen: I’ve got you i swear, i can pause this right here Take a breath, ill stop the show, ready now... folks... Henry: My town of Vulture Rock was quiet, i was young my… hey where’s the music? Helen: Henry, just wait, there’s a thing, i’m afraid i must stop the cabaret Henry: But i’ve practiced for weeks for this night you cant mean that you'll ruin this for me Helen: Oh god hes right, hes had this coming He's waited and hes trained and i cannot take this from him Han-Mi: What if the show cannot be stopped Helen: Han, stop the crazy talk, we'll let him sing and then we'll end the show Okay folks, finally Henry The Alchemist finally sings his big number! Henry: Yay! Ahem…
9.
Henry: My town of vulture rock was quiet, i was young my science was my favorite thing since i was shy and awkward and cute guys i just could not talk to I got so confused til Evan came along Alchemy is quite my thing, when solubles are transforming and matter unmade reshaping and souls themselves transmutating I dream of potions of evolution to lead mankind The hell mouth just appeared one day a rift in time a tear in space and monsters from a hellish place came out to eat and kill and chase and doom arrived we prepared to die til an idea crossed my mind A potion i had never made, too dangerous, but thought could change a man in strange divergent ways our last hope of salvation lay with death coming i made some and i drank it down that day Henry: "I don't understand, nothing happened." Evan: Well at least you tried Henry. its all right. if this is the end, maybe.. maybe we should... just one last time.. Henry: Yes, id like that. Mmmm, that feels good Evan: Well you're certainly getting aroused... oh! dear god.. Henry... whats happening to you? Henry: I... i feel.... like something inside is coming out.... rrraaaaarrRRRGH I'm the wild man The party's always where i am I'm the scream hurled by that drunk girl when midnight I'm the sodomite who makes everything all right I'm the mad howl of you night out Henry: Where am i? Old Coot: You're in Rattlesnake Springs up above the Whiskeybath Saloon Henry: But that's 70 miles awa.. wait, why are all these naked men passed out all over the place? Old Coot: Oh, you missed quite a shindig last night., It was all willies and alcohol around here Henry: My alter ego, Hurl indeed could kill the foul invading beasts but he was wild and wasn't me, he drank and screwed and fought and screamed A wild Id who i hated at war with my own self After he'd fought the beasts attacks he wouldn't want to calm, change back He'd go on benders that would last for days of drinking, sex and laughs He gorged in bed with scores of men for miles and miles around The thing that makes me change to him, arousal, an erection, when desire rises springs within the transformation happens and i cave, change and he raves and shames me and i cannot keep him down And so i try to keep somehow him from ever coming out i drink elixirs to renounce and keep my strange libido down i vow now i must live without becoming ever more aroused Townspeople: Henry! A new monsters has come through and is attacking the town! We need Hurl! You got to get it up! He cant get it up? But if he doesn't change we'll all die! Listen up everyone, we've all got to pitch in to give Henry an erection! Get it up, Henry, get it up! Get the men's rowing club over here! Get your clothes off and start showering! Spank each other playfully! You, cowboys... oh lordy jesus, you don't need no instructions.. Git the college kid over here. Right, give me the shy freshman bit... good, okay, pretend you've never seen one before... you're so curious... you just have to reach and out and... oh, i think it's working... come one Henry, rise and shine, boy I'm the wild man The party's always where i am I'm the scream hurled by that drunk girl when midnight I'm the sodomite who makes everything all right I'm the mad howl of you night out I'm the craving and the action I'm the strive for satisfaction I'm the will to live, the passion that will make you dance and scream I'm the hunger thirst for more that keeps the species moving forward I'm the blood lust and the gorge that survival itself needs I'm the fire in the stove of evolution don't you know The species clawing upwards goes because i'm there to scream and poke When death is at your feet I'm the beast you better feed My greed exceeding to extremes is the rebel scream you need I'm the wild man The party's always where i am I'm the scream hurled by that drunk girl when midnight I'm the sodomite who makes everything all right I'm the mad howl of you night out Evan who i loved, he broke my heart when he broke up for Hurl filled him with disgust, and we couldn't ever touch For if we held i might arise and change there before his eyes and hurl would mock him and he'd cry and so he left me one long night The town looked at me strange, a mix of fear and awe and shame for hurls wanton and lewd ways i felt their constant furtive gaze Locked inside my house i'd stay there cowering and id hide while Hurl rattled deep inside the carnal cages of my mind A 2 week bender gone astray i woke up in a strange new place here in lost hallow where i stayed and keep my urges pressed away I work my alchemy in a dank basement neath the street where somewhere deep inside he sings and waits til next hes free
10.
Helen: Wow! ladies and gentlemen, Henry The Alchemist! Han-Mi: Great job henry. that was fantastic Henry: Thanks, guys. But Han i know you see something i don’t. Could you tell me please? Han-Mi: Henry it really was great i mean that Henry: Thanks! Han-Mi: But as long as you ask i might talk with the writer bout one thing Helen: Han, let's let henry get… Han-Mi: It's just in the subtext Henry: No, please i want to know Han-Mi: Well, your song is about a gay man who's major trait is that his sexual urges make him a beast they make him a monster, they're uncontrollable he’d be normal as long as his sexual desires were erased Henry: Oh my god! Helen: Oh, christ... The audience loves it, they do, let's just stop Han-Mi: The audience would love if you performed without a top Helen: Oh my god Han-Mi: doesn’t make it the right thing to do Henry: No, that's okay, i never thought of it that way What should i say? Han-Mi: Can you talk the writer? Henry: Of course Han-Mi: Thank god. So who is he? Henry: Uh... come to think of it i dont know Han-Mi: You don't know Henry: I should know, but my mind's a blank Han-Mi: Helen? what his name? Helen: I cant say Han-Mi: Can't or won't? Helen: I don't know Han-Mi: Who writes this show? Helen: I’m sure i know Han-Mi: Who directs it? When do we rehearse? Helen: I don’t know. Lets just go on with the show Han-Mi: What did you eat any one day this week? Helen: Don't let madness come seep in, don’t let it creep The carnival comes, i don't want you to go Han-Mi: Helen can you really stop the show? Helen: Of course. Folks.... Hank: Wait! Wait wait! Wait, i have to speak to Han. It’s important. There’s something i have to tell her.
11.
Seduction 04:07
The Sheriff: I want you, i want you just one time Just to know you, just to feel your skin on mine I want you, to feel your breath and feel your lips Just to taste you, you and i and just one kiss Coil and wind with me our limbs entwined Hear the sigh and cries taste you just one night See your face gasp as we clasp, embrace Lost in time, we try ourselves you and i And god i swear to you i want you my heart before you lies if you would want to just say you will tonight i want you such desire and delight if you want to you and i this one night I want you, that moment in the air before the kiss comes, that instant that it's there oh god i i want you, that sigh we might share yet when the warmth comes, the feel of skin on flesh Unwrap and writhe flesh moans bathed in soft warm light Alone in a room somewhere a private world we share Together yes we could for just one night just think of the things we'd try a memory that'll make us smile when we day dream down the line Oh god i swear to you i want you and if you would want to try oh god i want you be with me just one night I want you, such desire and delight in our secret, our secret world for just one night If you want to, tangle ourselves up tonight it takes one kiss, to see if it all feels right Standing close til, the world only is we two in a space made up of just me and you
12.
Han-Mi: Dream a little dream Dream a little dream Dream a little dream with me Dream a little dream All's not as it seems Dream a little dream with me Wishes wished away lost within the play Run inside the mirror and maze Whispered words of love soothe the bleeding cuts Sleepers will not soon awake Laughter in the halls words you cant recall wonder is this really all Something holds your scene To be is not to seem Dream a little dream with me You and i could lay together on a cold and windy night fire in the hearth sheltered from the world outside But spiders in the cupboards, and flies upon the wall the saccharin coated painting melts, its not real at all I wish i smelled a fire, on your lips id tasted wine but something here deceives us, something that i've yet to find There's many things i'm sorry that i cannot believe like when you turn and tell me, tell me you love me Hank: Dream a little dream Dream a little dream Dream a little dream with me Dream a little dream All's not as it seems Dream a little dream with me
13.
Finale 06:24
Helen: I built this show from ground on up worked so hard to make it run stressed each week from opening to encore A theater troupe back a long while had came through town, made Shira smile It made her stick around a while more The story behind all these shows you'd think i'd be the one to know but standing here there's nothing i recall But if you question what is true the carnival will come for you the show must go on keeps you from the fall Han-Mi: The play itself is lulling us to sleep and something here manipulates and schemes All's not as it seems it pulls upon our strings We're wandering up here lost within a dream Helen: Speak to us Will someone out there speak to us Are we alone here? Lost up here upon a stage alone inside an unwatched play if someone out there's left to trust speak to us Henry: I've studied back behind the stage there are no doors no patent ways you exit the left wing and then you'll walk out through the right again A maze made for a beast to cage perhaps its me this trap must chain we must be careful, not allow this trap to let the beast come out we should ignore keep on somehow the show must just go on right now Helen: The carnival it comes for you if we question what is true I don't like when i don't know what to do Han-Mi: No, you both have memories that keep you from breaking out this trap i say we stop the show until someone comes to Helen and Han-Mi: Speak to us Will someone out there speak to us Are we alone here? Lost up here upon a stage alone inside an unwatched play if someone out there's left to trust speak to us Sheriff: I never saw a mountain I never saw a sky I never saw a sight that looks quite you look tonight Han-Mi: hank you must have loved her your precious werewolf girl Sheriff: I do Han-Mi: look at me closely, you can see that i'm not her Han-Mi, the delectable scourge which must be removed from this town! Helen: aand we're back Han-Mi: Who wouldn't miss this? Sheriff: But i want you.. i want you just one time... Han-Mi: you never saw a mountain you never saw a sky Sheriff: I never saw a sight that looks quite like you are tonight... just make it stop, just make it halt i think my minds not well Han-Mi: Hank its not your fault Sheriff: There are times a think she was all that's real in world where threads of fate are spun on catherine wheels They say when you break there's a place you belong Han-Mi: I've been living like this for a while, holding on Sheriff: Is nothing left real to you? Nothing real any more? Han-Mi: You are. You are to me. I don't have much left to to cling. Though you hate me, i know, cause it's part of the show and i've nowhere to go the light died upon out fair lives but it rises with you on the stage i clung to just this, that one good man exists in Miss Helen's one pace from disgraced cabaret Helen: I built this show from ground on up i've put in tears and sweat and blood some weeks held it together by a prayer i made it cause i love this town and watching it come crashing down someone will give me answers this i swear you want my cast then understand you'll pry them from my cold dead hands i want to speak with someone right away the show is stopped there's no more play i’m halting this here cabaret until someone comes up here to explain i built this show from ground on up i’ve put in tears and sweat and blood some weeks held together by a prayer the show is stopped there's no more play i’m halting this here cabaret until someone comes up here to explain Henry: we're live in a feed back plan we're caught in recursive strands we're placed a moebius cage or else we're not awake Cages within cages Hank: I’m sorry i’m sorry i was blind I won’t play these insane mind games again I’ve had enough its been too long that this goes on it all must stop, its all gone wrong, we will not let this carry on the show is stopped there's no more play i'm halting this here cabaret until some comes up here Han: Cages within cages I’ve had enough its been too long that this goes on it all must stop, its all gone wrong This show is stopped, there's no more play i’m halting this here cabaret until someone comes up here to All: Speak to us Speak to us Lost up here upon a stage Alone inside an unwatched play if someone out there’s left to trust speak to us speak to us speak speak speak

credits

released December 6, 2016

Featuring
Lauren Osborn as Miss Helen (www.facebook.com/laurenosbornweddingsinger/)
Psyche Chimere as Han-Mi (psychecorporation.com)
Rhys Owen as Henry The Alchemist
Studly McMuffinpants as The Sheriff, Hank Hernandez

Art by Sarah DeBuck
saraah11.deviantart.com

Special thanks to Bethany Schaefer for paying my Vincent's tab every. damn. time.

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Paul Shapera Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

These days the teddy bear picnic is a rather somber affair. They mostly just sit together in silence. The beings who had taken these guises had over time lost all recollection of their origins, purpose, or selves. They only know they are someplace foreign, cut off from whatever homeland they once had, utterly alone in an incomprehensible world. Some picnics they listen to Paul Shapera. ... more

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