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lyrics

K: wow, you people are a mess. Ok, thank you, could all three of you please go over there for a bit?
A: so what does your gut tell you
K: that they’re all idiots. What about you.
A: well, i’m getting a really interesting read off this Kultainen pendant
K: Ryvyr, what can you tell us of this thing
R: they shouldnt have it
K: right got it. But what is it
R: oh, you know, i have the perfect story for just this occasion. storytime!

Ryvyr:
Storytime, (It’s storytime) all right yeah
Storytime, (It’s storytime) all night



Years ago a volcano spread a famine through our land
The goblin tribe, tried to survive, but there was little food at hand
Muck muck mash was all they had to eat but every day at dawn
A herd of poro ran right by but no one could wake up in time

A stimulant might do the trick to get the hunters on the feet
But goblins, sad to say, cannot score either meth or tea

¬ The pendant weaves these golden leaves
That we seep and use for tea
Like the peeka bees so happy we will be

Golden leaves will make our tea
The pendant weaves so carefully
And then merrily upon our feet we’ll be
¬¬¬


The shaman set upon a quest To the mountain of Sumu
And In its crags there lived a hag With magic gifts that they might use
The hag said if i give a gift, the pendant of Kultainan then
A quid pro quo, you must bestow, a favor in return you give

The Court of hags would meet at last and all a pedicure would love
So she agreed though their foul feet, were rancid, gnarled and macabre
I dont mean to make a scene about the court of hags foul feet
But they were really really im not trying to body shame but a little personal hygiene goes a long long way cause trust me their feet were really really gross and stinky

Though she puked a time or two, she triumphed, brought the pedant back
The goblins we, could make our tea, and hunt the poros meat at last

The pendant weaves these golden leaves
That we seep and use for tea
Like the peeka bees so happy we will be

Golden leaves will make our tea
The pendant weaves so carefully
And then merrily upon our feet we’ll be



K: so the pendant makes gold leaves?
R: that we use for tea.
A: you make tea from gold?
R: Its amazing
K: well something that manufactures gold is definitely... woah! What happened to the lights?

(music interlude)

K: Why did the lights go out?
R: Everyone’s gone!
K: oh no, they all fled. We’re gonna ha...
A: thats not the most interesting thing happening right now
K: its not
A: no, the appearance of a time door is
K: time door?
A: right there
K: i dont see anything
A: i promise you, theres a time door right over there
K: how is there a time door?
A: well, theres two likely explanations. It was opened by a person
K: right
A: or a thing.
K: a thing
A: like for instance the pendant
K: wait wait wait wait. How can a pendant open a time door
A: you’re assuming pendants dont possess consciousness
K: how can a pendant possess consciousness?
A: asks the talking mouse
K. Huh.
A: im picking up a call from the pendant from the doorway
K: it... wants us to... go through the door?
A: ka-zam
K: did you just say ka-zam?
A: yeah, im thinking it could be my new catchphrase
K: be your new catchphrase. Yeah, we’ll deal with that atrocity in a second. Do we..
R: it is imperative that we retrieve my peoples’ sacred relic
A: if the pendant is calling to us across time, we should follow
K: well, i’ve never seen a bad idea i didnt go rushing head long towards

credits

from Kevin & Abi And The Secret Of The Golden Pendant, released February 23, 2021

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Paul Shapera Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Cama’s attempt to commune with higher beings failed; she only found Decadent Dottie. Together they roamed, indulging in dangerous forms of psycho-neural self-exploration which Cama hoped would present the key to her people’s further evolution. It only led to her destroying her people so that one of their pets could evolve. She sat in her former civilization's rubble and listened to Paul Shapera. ... more

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