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K: That is literally the most batshit thing i’ve ever heard in my life
A: how many timelines did you destroy?
K: He’s been at this for centuries. Plus, each time he does this he has to stay long enough to seduce Sorandra and Terna
A: Or make them think they’re seducing him
K: What do we do with him? With the tech he’s picked up he might be able to escape whatever jail we put him in.
C: you cannot stop me! I’ve done everything perfectly this time! All i have to do is open my last time door and go back to kidnap Lee. Lee! Lee! Im coming!
A: i have an idea. Spell from hell time!
*crack*
C: Ribbit. Ribbit.
K: you turned him into a frog. Nice.
A: do we undo what he did?
K: we cant. He’s already done everything in the future. We could wipe ourselves out of existance. We have to keep everything as is.
R: where is my pendant?
A: we cant take the pendant.
R: What? My precious!
K: we have to back to the future and take that pendant. This one has to stay here and go through the entire cycle.
A: to think, the thing that truly stopped him was a lonely pendant.
T: give me that pedant you theiving whore! Its mine!
S: It’s mine! Im leaving this crappy town and moving to the big city to start a new life. Im going to be rich! Rich!
A: so, we just leave them?
K: yeah, let it play out. We’ll go back to our time and retrieve the pendant from Sorandra.
R: shes not going to give it up
A: i dont intend to ask nicely.
R: can i please hear your joke?
A: no
K: so this guy says Doc, you gotta help me. Im a mess. I wake up one day, i think im a wigwam. But i wake up the next day, i think im a tee-pee. Im losing my mind here.
R: what does the doctor say?
A: do not encourage him
K: the doctor say, oh, your problem’s simple. You’re two tents.
A: im going to be physically ill.
R: what happens then?
K: nothing, thats the joke
R: how can he be two tents if he’s still a man?
A: yeah kevin? How?
K: lets go back to our time, get the pednant and get a drink at the Furry Tail and i’ll explain it.
R: can i keep the frog?
A: sure, why not.
Abi
It’s true sometimes you need a sleuth, detectives on your side
Kevin
Brillaint sly, astute and wise we always get our guy
We’ll ace the toughest case without a snag or drag or hitch
Abi
Abi is the sweet one, Kevin’s a little.... (Hey!)
Abi & Kevin
If someone wrong just offed your mom and you are in a glitch
We’re the friends at your wits end, kevin and the witch

Michael:
So theres your little story, nice and fun which y’all deserve
And with that its time for me to go, time to leave this world
Now dont get sad and huffy, i’ve lived longer than anyone has a right
And i’ve had a real good run of things, but all things have their time

So last toast, to happy stories and lost, remember friends
Every endings a beginning and every beginning has its end
Toast to me every now and dont waste time crying
Ending come for us one and all, in our time of dying

...

Han Mi: um, excuse me. Are you Michael?
M: thats a name i havent heard in awhile. Who wants to know?
H: my name is Han Mi. I’ve heard a lot about you and ive been really looking forward to meeting you.
M: i dont know how you heard about me, but now’s a real awkward time to make introductions.
H: Lloyd and Raven sent me to find you
M: honey, Lloyd’s dead and David’s been lost for so many years im not even sure he wants to be found
H: No, Lloyd was dead but.... um, he got better. And Raven was trapped but now he’s free and they’re together again.
M: you know, i swore i heard ol Lloyds voice during Nash...
H: they want to see you. And they need you.
M: listen sweetie, i... its tempting, but i dont know if i have it in me. Im ready to roll over and lay it do...
H: they found Jill.
M: Jill’s dead.
H: no. She’s trapped but she’s alive. Lloyds sure and he wants to rescue her. They need your help.
M: Jill’s alive? ... jill’s....
(just fucking loses it)
Well hell, you should’ve led with that. All right, i’m in.

credits

from Kevin & Abi And The Secret Of The Golden Pendant, released February 23, 2021

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Paul Shapera Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Cama’s attempt to commune with higher beings failed; she only found Decadent Dottie. Together they roamed, indulging in dangerous forms of psycho-neural self-exploration which Cama hoped would present the key to her people’s further evolution. It only led to her destroying her people so that one of their pets could evolve. She sat in her former civilization's rubble and listened to Paul Shapera. ... more

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