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Ryvyr:

It’s story time It’s story time It’s story time

It’s storytime, oh storytime has come
So grab a drink and sit down on your bum

Well once upon a time not long ago
There was a big bad war as we all know
The war of the ankle bracelets, we deposed
Mauron the Bad and his fiery nose

Goblins and fairies fought side by side
And we vowed our friendship wouldn’t die
So every 50 years we’d meet cry
Hey besties it’s party time

Well one year you know the fairies came
And we hired some dwarves to go and make
A sword to show our lasting bond
But this is where he story gets kind of long

There was a goblin boy his name Demetrius and he
Well he had a fairy bud named Galadriel now see
I want to stress this tale is not a romance they were buds they say
Just two super buds who dreamed of being roommates some day

The goblin king said boys a have a mission for you now
Take a like little stroll and go pick up the sword from down there south
From the dwarves and bring it back here and don’t dawdle on the way
The sacred friendship of our people rest upon you two this day

It’s story time it’s story time it’s story time…

So The two best buds they went on down
To get the sword from the dwarves down there in the south
But you’ll never guess just what caught their eye
A grove of shruffy shrooms they happened to find

Demetrius said now we must be
Responsible young adults then he
And Galadriel just laughed and laughed and hey
The boys they tripped balls the whole next day

But in the middle of their good times i say
Well this alien space ship came down their way
And they said a fairy boy well this our lucky day
So they went and poor Galadriel they did take

Demetrius awoke the next morning and he said
Several very naughty words that you don’t need to hear and then
He vowed his bud he’d rescue but the spaceship it was parked
On the top of Mount Chumungahunga which is very steep and dark

But the first thing he did was go to the dwarves and get that sword
Cause he wasn’t gonna let anything happen to his favorite buddarooni
he liked to get naked with but in a completely pure and wholesome way

So he climbed up Chumungahunga which was not an easy feat
And he saw the spaceship, realized he was screwed and so what he
Did was swallow that whole sword and kept it in his throat and tum
Then the aliens they came gathered Demetrius on up

They threw him in a cell with ol Galadriel his bud
Then Demetrius said here and puked the whole sword back on up
And he said my special bud ive come to rescue you this day
Take this sword and we can show these aliens how fairies play

So the buds they fought and sliced and sluiced
And alien blood went splat and sploosh
And smack and crack and wham and pow
Its time for violence right about now

Galadriel returned to his family its true
But Demetrius he died up on the mountain i tell you
But that sword it was named after him and they all say
That when Galadriel became king that sword never left his side for a single day

And that’s why aliens check your butt, to make sure there are no swords hiding in it

It’s story time it’s story time it’s story time…

credits

from Kevin & Abi And The Secret Of The Stolen Sun, released December 20, 2022

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Paul Shapera Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Cama’s attempt to commune with higher beings failed; she only found Decadent Dottie. Together they roamed, indulging in dangerous forms of psycho-neural self-exploration which Cama hoped would present the key to her people’s further evolution. It only led to her destroying her people so that one of their pets could evolve. She sat in her former civilization's rubble and listened to Paul Shapera. ... more

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